New Boots?

Now on to today. As mentioned before I got engaged. Well it has been two weeks today. I want a pair of calf boots but as my fiancee pointed out, "Where are you going? We're saving for a wedding and you want to buy a pair of boots you'll never wear anywhere" Fair enough. She's right. I got pulled over about 15 years ago while in drag and got felt up by the cops. About 10 years ago I got chased by some drunken teenagers and had to climb a 15' fence to get away. Then maybe 10 years ago I get picked up by a cop, while changing in a parking lot, and taken to court (immediately to night court) because I didn't have my insurance card and my appearance did not match my driver's licence. Given these experiences I wouldn't go out alone. Not in drag, not anymore. So where would I wear the boots? Did I mention she does not allow any of this to be out in our home? So yes I'm depressed today. I usually get depressed because I have trouble finding my size, yet today I find my size and am not able to justify buying the boots. I desperately want to get dolled up and go out tonight. It has been over a month and I've done nothing but wear some women's jeans. I have 2 pair. When I'm feeling brave I wear the hot pants and they generally get me some smiles. From most sorts anyway. Some glare at me. On most days though I wear some frumpy jeans that are a size too big. I really want the boots for my hot jeans. That would make me 6'4 in the boots. I already stick out, I really don't care about sticking out as long as I had something nice other than guy shoes that go with the jeans. Let's be honest. When you want to get dolled up you don't want to wear sneakers. 

Anyway that's my deal today. With the step daughter around I can't even get dolled up and sit around the house. With the cops and rednecks around here I can't go out alone. I'd make some trans friends but due to her previous divorce she has serious trust issues and I can't leave the home. I know I have to put my foot down and stand up for this and I would if I had any trans friends to hang out with. So I'm going to push outside my comfortable bubble zone and attempt to make some trans friends. Even in my lonely depression I've found a little hope.